Thursday, January 3, 2019

When you think you’ve found your Soulmate, but you still parted ways, what do you do?

When you think you’ve found your soulmate, but you still parted ways, what do you do? 



It’s 4 in the morning and I cant sleep. Guess Im back to doing my therapeutic writing. 


So I met an amazing man last year. We met in Bataan, on a beach. Just when I thought I wouldn’t fall inlove anymore. I did. I fell inlove with this kind-hearted, smart, weird, simple, family loving man. I love him, his quirks and flaws. I embraced every quality this man has to offer. We can talk for 3 hours straight and we still wouldn’t be bored with each other. He was everything I prayed for. Responsible, family-oriented, with no alcohol or smoking vices, and most importantly, He loves Jesus like me. We have the same values. He was also a Christian like me. Its funny, he also liked everything I liked. We have so much similarities: his love for the beach and ocean, for God and for family. Him being thrifty like I do. Both of us sharing bible verses and talking about faith everyday. Anything under the sun. Really. It was like I found my soulmate. My destiny.


 I mostly only have happy memories of him. 


However, we still parted ways. We broke up. He broke up with me. The reason? That I wouldn’t disclose in my blog because I still love and respect him dearly despite everything. I was deeply hurt, but I was not angry at him. I trusted God’s plan for the both of us. I realized that maybe it was God who moved in his heart to make that decision, to change us both for the better, although it was painful and sudden. I learned to accept it with God’s grace, but I do not deny the fact that i still get sad as I miss this person from time to time. Maybe we have different journeys to take. I honestly do not know. 


But if there is anything I would take from this relationship is this: FOLLOW JESUS completely. You have to make God the center of your relationship to make it work. It just wouldn’t work without the Lord. It’s not enough to love Jesus, you have to FOLLOW Him. Maybe the parting saved as both. Idk really. 


I am not closing my heart. Love is a beautiful thing after all. If im going to take something from this experience is this: No matter what a person has done to hurt me, I will always choose to love because we are all imperfect human beings. I will always choose to love, may it be in a romantic or non-romantic sense. 


2018 taught me to always choose to love. “We will always see imperfections towards everyone, but if we focus our eyes on God, who is perfect and holy, we will always see each other with mercy, care and love.” I’ve heard this from a local CCF Pastor I attend sunday service at. 


When we truly learn that God is both sovereign and good, we can open our hands, without resentment, to the future of his choosing rather than our own. 


Do not idolize a relationship or a man. Security is found only in Jesus Christ. A partner is a blessing and a bonus, yes. But complete happiness & satisfaction can only be filled by God and God alone. 


Even though some people disappointed, failed and left me this year, I still chose to love these people despite their imperfections, because that is what God wants me to do, no matter how hard it is. Why? Because walking with Jesus Christ means practicing love, forgiveness, humility and respect despite the situation and people not being in your favor. Know that choosing to be in His path will one day reward you eternally beside Him that no amount of temporal earthly things can fill.


As I grow older, I realized that love is a commitment directed to loving imperfect ppl which often requires sacrifice to seek their highest capacity/good. To love others is to admit u cannot love people perfectly. We have to seek Jesus and humility continually.



But at the end of it all, love always outlives and prevails.


I recently saw this former partner in Bali last December when I was travelling. I was caught off guard. Of all places, I saw him out of the country. 

To see his smile brought joy to my heart, but it also gave me an ache as I realized I missed him, all the while as he held my right hand out of surprise. He was beaming like he’s usual self. His smile made me happy inside already. My hopeless romantic heart would tell me “its destiny” but my realistic adult self now would tell me “it might be a coincidence, who knows”. 

I still believe in destiny, but I came to realize that its still up to our “choices” of what to make of those ‘encountered chances’. 


One more thing i could add is this:


“If its for you, then its for you. No circumstance, challenges could hinder you from you destiny. May it be in love or career. What you have to do is love yourself, work hard on making yourself better everyday, and trust God’s grace. Everything will eventually fall into place, if its God’s will for you. Just do your very best.....(like what I did now, I wrote about it and poured my heart into it)” 


I hope this post has blessed you in some way, if someone is even reading this. 


I end this blog with the same question on the subject... “When you think you’ve found your soulmate, but you still parted ways, what do you do?”


I guess you do nothing and surrender it to the Lord....as long as you’ve tried your best to fight and salvage the relationship with this person, then you’ve done the best way you can. That is what I did. I tried my very best. But at the end, I realize I cannot force love on anyone. I cannot force relationship, or commitment, or my dreams or passion into other people. I cannot force anyone. I tried my best to work it out with him. However, it has to be two people fighting for a relationship to work. Not just one. If you have no control of the situation anymore, learn to trust God instead. An aspect of a fully surrendered life is trust. Sometimes the best thing you could do if you cant control things is to surrender and to trust the One Above. Continue to have faith and to love. Do not let anger, bitterness or hate fill your heart. Take the higher ground. If he really is your soulmate, God will give Him back to you. Nothing will hinder it from happening. If he’s not, then have faith that He will only give you nothing but the best one day and it will all makes sense when the time comes. 


Surrender, Trust and Love. 



❤️1 Peter 5:10❤️

 "After you have suffered for a little while, the God of grace who calls to share his eternal glory in union w Christ will himself perfect u and give u firmness, strength and foundation".


❤️Romans 8:18❤️

  "for the pain youve been feeling right now cant compare to the Joy thats coming" 


Proverbs 3:5-6 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."


“Now however, these 3 remain: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love 

~ 1 Corinthians 13:13 

Monday, January 2, 2017

A Letter To My Daddy whom I Havent Seen for 10 Years

Hi daddy, how are you? I hope you are doing fine.
Its been almost a decade of not seeing your face. I wonder if you have wrinkles now or if you still have a beer belly.

This year 2016 was the toughest year for me so far. But Im more concerned about you. We haven't heard from you for a long time, almost a year I suppose.

I recently heard you were sick from an aunt. I dont know if its true,  but I felt a little guilt for not greeting you on father's day and on your birthday because I was holding a grudge. So here I am virtually writing again, secretly getting hopes of you stumbling into my feed because facebook private messaging doesnt seem to be working.

Your kids are all grown up now. They are all working.

Your first born, my kuya, is all well with his future wife and son, Sean. Our home is full of happiness when this little kid is around.

Your second daughter, my crazy sister.. well, she still loves you ~even though she keeps on talking about how much she loathe you. She is strong like that. Saying 'I dont care' a lot, good at hiding her emotions... but I know her too well. She'd tell me how she remembers your funny jokes, dance moves and giveaway money when youre drunk. She definitely misses you.

As for your third child, ME... well your daughter is having such terrible days at work lately. Currently having a quarter life crisis although keeping herself busy as much as she can. She tries to get by everyday. Getting wiser with her decision making.

The youngest child, your bunso, is doing amazing. You know how smart he is. An IT programmer -always getting home late at night, working his ass off. He has grown to be such a responsible person like her ate/s. It still annoys me how he'd asks me about tagalog words though. Your bunso is still having a hard time with TAGALOG language at a tender age of 22. Where did that kid come from?! Im having a nosebleed talking to him in english when we argue. SERIOUSLY this kid is way too fluent, it's like he's from NYU or something.

My mom... your wife, she is still beautiful but now a bit weak and fragile. She has gray hair now but still the most loving and caring mother to all her children.

 I hate you for making her cry a lot in every unanswered call from you. She thinks you have a different family now and we all dont know if there's any truth to that.

Do you even know she keeps on calling and messaging you just to see how youre doing? Sadly you dont answer.

I love her so much because despite you being gone, she still made ends meet. Working hard day and night. You took her for granted but she still cares for you. I hope you know that.


Years have passed and I let myself believe that Im totally okay with you not being there throughout my teenage and now, adult life.

I have come to terms that I am stronger without you in my life.

I became so independent but had a hard time trusting men.

I dont feel any gap in my heart until I would see a father with his daughter bonding at a grocery store or at a mall. A father figure I would wish to have, but just not my luck.
 
Theres an inch of pain not having to experience that as I grow older, but life is not always fair so you just have to suck it up. Endure it & move forward.

Where are you now? Are you well? Do you still think of us?

There are so many questions running through my vicious mind yet so little answers...but despite that please know that I forgave you..

I forgave you for not being there for us growing up;
I forgave you for not even telling the truth of your whereabouts;
I forgave you regardless of the fact that you were not providing enough for us financially;
I forgave you for mentally and emotionally hurting my mom & siblings;
I forgave you because you are still my father despite of your shortcomings.

Lastly,  I forgave you because the Lord has let the Holy Spirit flow acceptance and forgiveness into my heart that only He could provide, even if you have not apologized to us.

I hope you could come home now, even just for mommy.


Love lots,
Mary


Friday, July 8, 2016

DERMABLEND COVER CREME PH


Dermablend is the ultimate best-selling full coverage cream foundation that covers anything including

  • Birthmarks
  • Bruising
  • Burns
  • Hyperpigmentation
  • Lupus
  • Post-operative concerns
  • Rosacea
  • Scars
  • Stretch marks
  • Vitiligo

  This is actually a miracle foundation for people who are suffering immensely in severe cases of vitiligo or rosacea. After watching her inspiring story here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBKr4uxXRi0&feature=youtu.be
 I decided to buy one & try it myself even If I don't honestly need it, because of curiousity.  

Dermablend is not available if you are living in the Philippines like me, but no worries, if you want to get hold of this baby, go through this website

https://phen.strawberrynet.com/makeup/dermablend/ 

I was able to purchase mine thru them. 

Right after you place your order, it will give you a tracking number and show you if the order is on its way via email.

I bought mine on February 19, 2016 and received it by March 16, 2016. So I suggest if you badly need it, order it one month prior. 


  Getting the right shade can be very tricky, since you can only buy it online if you're living in Asian countries. But thankfully, I was able to get the perfect shade for my skin because of thorough research on other blogs and Youtube reviews of women with Asian skin. I settled for the Natural Beige Chroma 2 1/8. This is suitable for women with warm/yellow undertone. It looks like my natural skin tone so I was soooo relieved. Pure luck! :) 


DERMABLEND COVER CREME 

What it looks like:





It comes with a spatula..



 You have to warm the creme on the side of your hand before applying it on your skin. Otherwise it will look cakey. A little goes a loooong way.  You could use your fingers or a beauty blender to evenly spread it. I prefer the former because it's easier to manage how much you put on your face.

What it looks like on my face. No other make up aside from the Dermablend cover creme.



          




      



       

PROS

- It felt very light on my skin, considering it's used to cover serious skin discoloration, severe vitiligo, acne blemishes and scars. 

- High coverage, without making your make-up look cakey.
  (I recently went to get my face lasered for a little scar I had, due to a pimple I stupidly pricked. It worsened because of an exfoliating cream I put on it. How dumb of me, right? HAHA (Take note, I only breakout usually a week before my period but rarely... and this one time I poked it, It left a scar, such an idiotic move haha. Anyway the red/brownish discoloration caused by the procedure, was mostly hidden because of this. This picture was taken before I even had laser.)  

- Very easy to apply

CONS

- The spatula is okay but not convenient to use when you're on the go. I wish they created some kind of a special make up cushion or brush for this creme. 

- It fades after 4 hours or so if you don't set it with the Dermablend Finishing Powder (with it though, your foundation stays put for up to 12hrs)


OVERALL RATING

I would give it 8/10 just because of the downside I mentioned above. Also because, I believe no foundation is perfect, there's always a room for improvement :)


Hope this helps! :)

Sunday, May 1, 2016

TRAVEL GUIDE & TIMELINE: HONG KONG and MACAU


DAY 1 - DECEMBER 22, 2015


- Arrival at Hongkong International airport



- Immigration; Purchase of Octopus Card, Money exchange

- Rode Bus to Mongkok (where our Hotel is - Holiday Inn Mongkok ). Hotels during December tends to be high because it's peak season, but our hotel room's nightly rate happens to be really cheap because of my employee rate. 





- Checked In early/ Rest around 10am in the morning 

- Went to PeakTram and Sky 100 around 12nn.
       a Victorian-era train taking visitors to the highest peak on Hong Kong island for views of the city. Here it is: 



sorry for the quiet foggy photo. It was freezing cold up there.







my sister, trembling because of the weather haha

seriously regretted wearing skirt. My legs were shaking, it wasn't obvious because I was trying to muster a smile for a photo haha 




- Visited Time Square (where all branded bag, jewelries and shoes are) 










- Ate street foods: Fishballs with curry saucand Octopus Tails with hot sauce (I love street foods, but sadly my stomach churned after eating, had to drink meds afterwards huhu)

- Went to Tsim Tsa Tui
      a giant world bazaar, where Hong Kong's glittering harbour is met by an alternate sea of stalls, shops, markets


- Ate dinner at Mcdo around 10pm ordered chicken wings spice & herb
- Back at the hotel by 11 midnight




DAY 2 - DECEMBER 23, 2015

- Ate Plated set of Breakfast (3 Coupons) at Holiday Inn Mongkok




DISNEYLAND for the whole day ~I lowkey cry weeeeeeee :D 
   
we had a two-day pass with 1 free meal coupon per ticket (available if you buy the ticket online) 






watched the famous Disneyland's fireworks Display by 9pm


Mickey Mouse Shaped Waffle with Chocolate and Caramel Syrup


My Sister and I

Mickey Mouse Shaped Chocolate Ice Cream Popsicle yaaay

Beside Disneyland's Train

Inside the Disneyland Train

Glow In the Dark Frozen Cotton Candy 

Happy 10th Year Anniversary HongKong Disneyland!!! 


Are you annoyed with my selfie yet? Hahahaha


- DUNDAS STREET AND "FA YUEN STREET" (Also called Sneaker's St)
   scouted for the best shoes around
-There were more than 15 to 20 outlets of Nike, Adidas Converse here. I was not able to take a picture because I was so immersed to much on finding the right shoes LOL 


- Back at the hotel by midnight


DAY 3 - DECEMBER 24, 2015

-Breakfast at Hotel

-Travel to Pier going to Macau via TurboJet ferry 






-Rode free Shuttle to City of Dreams and The Venetian

















-Played at their Casinos. (slot machine to be specific.. first timer and I lost, no beginner's luck I guess lol) 




-Bought Koi Kei egg tarts (famous egg tarts from Macau, bought 3 boxes (12pcs per box) .. a bit pricey but definitely worth it if you're looking for a takeaway going home!! 

-Visited St Paul Ruin's (light show mapping)





-Bought shoes at Nike nearby the bazaar at St Paul  




DAY 4 - DECEMBER 25, 2015

-Breakfast at Hotel

-Back to DISNEYLAND ( to celebrate my birthday yaaaay :p ) whole day
    bought souveniers and watched the Disney character's parade by midnight





(Wearing the Nike  I bought in Macau lol)


Adventureland


You cant miss Mickey and the Wondrous Book! Fell in line almost 2hrs in advance for this show. SUPER WORTH IT!!! 



Lion King Festival




-went to Ladies Market in Mongkok for last minute shopping of "pasalubong"



DAY 5 - DECEMBER 26, 2015

-Breakfast at Hotel

-Check Out 12noon (left our baggages there first before going to Ocean Park)

-Went to Ocean Park (rides,museums)


 saw a real life Panda weee -ticked off my bucketlist!!! 


Obviously thrilled before going in the Panda Quarantine Area Hahaha 


The Grand Aquarium houses one of kind water species 





To see a penguin is ticked off my bucketlist!!!


Also rode this high floorless suspended roller coaster called "Hair Raiser" overlooking the ocean. This was such an exhilarating ride!!! :)




(we were also supposed to visit Nyong Ping 360 -where the golden Buddha and cable car were- but we ran out if time since we woke up late) ~You must go here if you could still squeeze it in your time and/or itinerary because it's one of the highlighted attractions to be in when visiting Hongkong. 

-Back to hotel for luggage pick up

-Went to the Airport using "Airport Express"

-Flight to Manila

-Home Sweet Home